Don't Piss Off Polar Bears
by LegendaryGhostlySquirtle
Summary: Romano decides to rob a bank, but what happens when he is stopped by a hero and his trusted sidekick maple boy? also what happens when you piss off a polar bear? ma first fanfic.. it's crack :D contains bad words :P.. yea i don't own hetalia
1. Chapter 1

**so this is my first story, it's pure crack ... um yea...**

" Ve~ fratello, what are you doing?"

"Just shut up!"

"but, we're not allowed on this side of the bank? What are you doing?"

"look, I've been running low on funds, really, low, and I happen to owe certain people some money, so, we are going to rob this fucking bank."

"say wha?!" Italy squeeked as his brother started stuffing his large trash bag with stacks of cash.

'well, that must explain why we came after closing hours' he thought

Then, just as the brothers were going to leave with their bundles of moo-lah, a super heroic, totally awesome figure appeared from the shadows..

"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMNIAL SCUM!" America said in his heroic voice,

"you think you can just come and rob one of my banks?, well, YOU THOUGH WRONG! 'cause we are going to stop you!"

"look bastard, I don't have time for this crap, so why don't you-wait, you said 'we'?"

"YES! Me and my sidekick! MABLEBOY!" he points to another shaded area of the bank that hid a certain Canadian man…

"yes, just like America said, we are going to st-what?, WHAT THE HELL ALFRED! YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO BE WEARING COSTUMES!"

"Holy shit you actually wore yours?" he laughed as he handed $50 to the little polar bear standing next to the rather pissed sidekick.

"HA! Told you I'd get him to wear it!"

"KUMAGACHI YOU WERE IN ON THIS TOO?"

"look, you were partly to blame, had you not suggested to call the police like normal fucking people you wouldn't be in this situation right now." Kumajiro snorted.

"but it wouldn't be as fun!" said America

"You guys are a bunch of hosers!" Canada cried as he crawled into a corner.

"UGH! ENOUGH OF THIS BULLSHIT!, Italy lets get out of here before the these bastards and their stupid polar bear notice."

"BRAH! …BRAH! WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?"

"you heard me, STUPID. POLAR. BEAR."

"DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEN! DO SOMETHING!"

Without a second thought Romano pushed the Kumajiro to the floor.

"AHH…UGH….oohhh….Oh my god….. Owww…..owwww..! *sniff*

MAN YOU DONE FUCKED UP NOW! I JUST PRESSED THE BUTTON ON MY LIFE ALERT, ALL MY HOMIES GUNNA COME THROUGH AND FUCK YOU UP!"

The second he said that, a group of polar, black and grizzly bears enter the bank with bazookas.

"What the heck is going on in here?" said an unfamiliar voice,

"Ve~ It's Tyrone!~"

"Man you know everyone don't you," chuckled America

"look all y'all need to get up out of here I was just cleaning up and then I hear all this noise, the bank is closed."

"THERE HE IS!" Kumajiro yelled "GET HIM!, THE SEXY ITALIAN MAN, OVER THERE!"

"OH SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!" Romano yelled as he grabbed his brother's arm and left the building.

"AH! HE'S GETTING AWAY WHAT HERO WOULD I BE IF I LET HIM ESCAPE?!" America yelled. " AFTER HIM MAPLEBOY!" and with that, they left leaving Tyrone in a room full of angry pissed off bears.

"READY!"

"What? No, hold up.."

"AIM!"

"YO WHAT THE FUCK?"

"FIRE!"

"oh….shit." were the last words that left his mouth as the building ker'sploded into fiery bits and pieces, destroying millions of dollars in cash and giving a few bears some very nasty burns…

But these bears seemed to be unharmed by the fire, so now we have angry, pissed off bears on fire roaming the streets, on search for the bad-mouth Italian that got away….


	2. Chapter 2

As Italy and Romano run away, a faint explosion can be heard behind them

"shit, that was close!" he thought

No sooner after that thought the brothers bump into a certain French man that smells a lot like cheese, lots of cheese….

"Romano!~ how nice is it so see you? How are you mon ami?"

" I don't wanna talk to you right now, we have to go"

"aww where are you going, what happened?"

"Big brother was rob-AUGH!, aw that hurt" D;

"shut up and let's go!"

"HEY! YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

"fuuuuuuuuuuckkkkk."

The 3 men turned around to see a very pissed of group of polar bears, ready to unleash hell upon the scowling Italian.

"ya think I'd let you go that easy? WELL GUESS WHAT BUBBLE BUTT YOU THOUGHT WRONG!"

"hey, he doesn't have a big butt, it is very firm and nice too look at." ;) said the pretty French man,

"Aye, who the hell is this guy?"

"Ve~ this is france!"

"Friends, I am feeling like some wine, why don't we go back to my place and have some hmm?"

"heh, you always drink wine, France" italy said with a smile

"shit if I looked like him, I'd be drinking all the time too, matter of fact, get me a bottle right now if drink long enough it'll probably make his face look better"

"WHAT!? I AM BEAUTIFUL!" said the now hurt Frenchman.

"HEY" said Romano," Lay off of France, alright bastard, trust me when I say this; I KNOW! This man is ugly, okay, I KNOW! I honestly and truly believe he is one of the top five ugliest bastards I have EVER met in my goddamned life, do you know what it's like when he looks at you with that rape face? Huh? Having to stare into those eyes, those eyes that want to take you, and swallow your very being, It is like reliving a nightmare over, and over… but what you just said, what you just said right now, THAT SHIT WAS FUCKED UP!"

" see? Romano has my back! :D, you are one mean bear you know that?"

"si, that was very mean, maybe you need pasta to make you feel better" :D

Kumajiro, who is almost on a level of anger never reached before, turns to the cheerful Italian,

"okay, first of all, I wasn't even talking to your ass, this guy looking like he playing in dirt and shit, second, your voice is annoying as shit, and you talk too damn much, like, someone needs to get this dude a muzzle or some duck tape for his mouth"

"DON'T TALK TO MY BROTHER LIKE THAT YOU-"

"ve~ Romano it's okay, he is just jealous because everyone like pandas better than him" ^.^

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH BURRNNN!" said everyone

" YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S IT! I GOTTA BONE TO PICK WITH THE BOTH OF YOU! BEARS FIRE!"

"…"

"Huh? What the-

The little bear turns around to see a man with a very displeased look on his face.

"TYRONE!?"

"SURPRISE! MOTHER FUCKER!"


End file.
